Chains are a Choice

This morning, during my God-time, I felt a strong conviction overcome my spirit with this simple but hard-to-digest message: I am disobedient.

CAUTION! Vulnerable moment ahead: If you are new to this blog, you probably didn’t know that when I was 14 years old, I almost died from Anorexia Nervosa. And for the last 25 years, I have fought the demons of this eating disorder, resulting in 4 different hospitalizations and/or treatment centers while also subjecting my body to a violent rollercoaster of living in “intoxication/addiction” with living in “sobriety/recovery”. Within one year alone, my weight ranged between 72 lbs to 140 lbs.  

I starved my physical body of nourishment while subsequently starving my spiritual body from any form of intimacy with or dependence on GOD. I became addicted to exercise, which drove my body into ever further depletion and the tangles of death. In college, I began binging to the point of almost rupturing my stomach and purging by taking over 100 laxatives and copious diuretics a day. I was a slave to food, exercise, anxiety, the opinions of others, and -most detrimentally- the lies of satan.  

After entering a residential recovery center in 2016 and only through the LORD’s saving grace and power, I have not taken a laxative since 2016 or binged since 2020. Because of this, I have considered myself to be “living in recovery” ever since… until recently!

About four weeks ago, GOD, in His rich Mercy, revealed to me the parts of myself that were still enslaved to the eating disorder - things that I had for so long considered were in my past. Specifically, this included an addiction to exercise. My beloved therapist has been working hand-in-hand with me for the last few weeks to first cut off all forms of exercise, and most recently, sloooooowly start to bring gentle movement back into my life. 

This has probably been one of the hardest tests I have ever had to endure in all my years with an eating disorder. Those traumas and pains that I once numbed through restriction and over-exercise have now surfaced, forcing me to face them head-on. GOD is making clear to me the lies from the enemy that I have believed and chosen to live on for the majority of my life.

And this morning in His Word was no exception: I am disobedient.

This revelation led me to Romans: Chapter 6.  Verses 1-14 discuss having a new life in CHRIST JESUS.  Verses 15-23 explore what it means to go from being “slaves of sin” to slaves of GOD.  However, the entire chapter makes clear that obedience is a choice.

“Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.” - Romans 6:16 (NLT)

As my pastor once stated, a true believer is never in a position of neutrality; you are either moving closer to GOD or moving away from Him. There is no standing still.  A relatable illustration of this is a car being set in “Neutral.” In a car, the Neutral (N) state, often referred to as the neutral gear, occurs when the transmission is disengaged from the engine, preventing the engine's power from reaching the wheels.  If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior and LORD, then you are NEVER “disengaged” from the Author, Creator, and Source of all life!  Therefore, we are always in a state of movement - either towards GOD or away from Him.

At any given moment, we are making choices to either obey the LORD or obey the world - there is no in between.

Ephesians greatly emphasizes this point: 

“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you previously walked according to the ways of this world, according to the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit now working in the disobedient. We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. But God, Who is rich in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace!” - Ephesians 2:2-5 (CSB)

Returning to Romans Chapter 6, we see these supporting truths:

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, so that you obey its desires. And do not offer any parts of it to sin as weapons for unrighteousness. But as those who are alive from the dead, offer yourselves to God, and all the parts of yourselves to God as weapons for righteousness. For sin will not rule over you, because you are not under the law but under grace.” - Romans 6:12-14 (CSB)

Did you hear that?

We can overcome because Jesus overcame!

Not only that, but since the choice of who (or what) to obey lies with us, then any chains to sin that we may still be living in are our choice.

2 Peter 2:19 says,

“They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption, since people are enslaved to whatever defeats them.”

Beloveds, if you are a believer, know this truth: You are no longer slaves to sin because CHRIST JESUS, our LORD, took our place on the cross to bear the wrath we deserve for the sin He didn’t commit.

Listen to how Jesus spoke this truth in John 8:34-36:

“Jesus responded, 'Truly I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in the household forever, but a son does remain forever. So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free.’”   

And GOD blessed me with this revelation that I want to share with you: CHRIST has set us free from both sin and death. Our first exercise of free will is whether to believe this truth and surrender our lives to Jesus or not. This is called salvation.

After which we have the daily (sometimes moment-to-moment) choice of who or what we obey, and as true believers, I believe we have the added responsibility to choose obedience to GOD every day, in every way. This is called sanctification.

So beloveds, if you are aware of any sin that you are still enslaved to, still chained by, find freedom in this truth: We choose our chains.

CHRIST has already set us free from the power of sin; therefore, it is now our choice as to whether we continue to live in chains to it or walk through the prison door that JESUS opened for us and never look back. 

I pray that this message may bless you in your journey today. (And if it does, GOD alone deserves the glory!)

xoxo,